Thursday, July 17, 2008

get out of my head.... day 10

So I have been here at the Hermitage for 10 days now... just a few days left for this visit. I have had a lot of time to work, write and think. But I think the thinking right now is driving me a bit nuts. I am so in my head... trying to make sense of what I do, why I'm doing it and what's next. Quickly I spin downward into a dark space of self doubt and anger. A line of questions that have nothing to do with my practice as an artist and everything to do with my ego as a person; Why am I not this way? Why have not not been successful like they have? What is success anyway? Should I have done that? said that? AHHHHH

I know we all can feel this way at times and I am not looking for any reassurance it is just amazing how we can be our worst enemy, even at a picturesque artist retreat that you were invited to attend.

This interview with Duane Michals was the breath of fresh air I needed to jump out of the land of self doubt. I am in amazement with this place, my place our world... the work will work itself out and I need to get out of the way right now. Leave the questions at the door Sonja.

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